Sunday, April 09, 2006


Three days ago, I got an email from one of my best friends. I haven't seen him in two years, but that's because he chooses to live in strange and exotic locales, like Anchorage and Waikiki. Not so close to my home town.

The email... His mother was just diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer. Inoperable.... that word sounds so final. I finally got to talk to him today. Given the time difference between here and Hawaii, we don't talk often. Or at least not as often as I'd like. He and his partner have made the decision to come back home, to move back to the city closest to his family, and to settle there. Not the circumstances in which they wanted to be coming back... but he's trying to frame it positively, they are coming here to be near family.... not to wait for his mom to die.

Mortality is a funny thing. We're never ready for death. We're never prepared for suffering. This woman... she holds her family together. She didn't know she was sick. She wasn't feeling right and did the right thing, went to the doctor and BAM! Here you go, ma'am, you're dying.

Let the people you love know you love them. Unless you have a crystal ball (and if you do, I'll rent it from you for a lil bit, k?), we never know what's coming.


At 4:16 AM, Blogger Lenren said...

I hope your friends Mom is doing the best she can and feels as good as possible. I am sorry. Good message though.

At 9:13 AM, Blogger Benjamin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9:14 AM, Blogger Benjamin said...

Carae, I hope all goes well with your friend's mother. I know first-hand how it feels to be on both sides of cancer. Both of my grandfather's died with cancer, one when I was young and the other only three years ago. I was also diagnosed with cancer back in 1997, my junior year of high school. I was lucky and blessed of God, in that my cancer was "easily treatable". Trust me, no cancer is easily treatable, but I had it much better than the other kids on my floor. If I could give you any advice, it would be to convey a positive attitude towards the lady and try to help her have a positive attitude also. Call me crazy, but I have seen people give up mentally and emotionally when faced with this disease, and they never do as well as someone with a positive attitude.

Again, I hope all is well. I know it can be, I have been cancer free for almost 9 years.

At 3:06 PM, Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I'm so sorry for your friend. How terrible it is to get such news. I've lost several loved ones to cancer, so I know the feeling all too well.
Benjamin's comment is a voice of encouragement. Cancer always sounds like a death sentence, but it isn't always.
I wish the best for your friend, his mother, and his family.

At 12:22 AM, Blogger Funny Abby said...

I'm sorry for your friend. It is a terrible thing to have to endure. I am also feeling for you because it is so hard to see friends go through stuff like this. I never know the best way to help people. Just listen when he needs you and don't let him tell you he's fine! He might actually be, but in my own experience, I was anything but. Take care.


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