Thursday, February 09, 2006

Going up?

I was having a conversation online the other day with a friend who is unhappily married. He breaks my heart a little bit because he is so warm hearted, so fun... and destined to live the next 50 years with a woman who doesn't make him entirely happy. Yes, he's there by choice... which brings me to my analogy.

I've thought about this for awhile... and I think life is a spiral staircase. We don't ever repeat what it is we've done (barring amnesia and the like) and we can't ever unlearn the lessons we've learned. But it seems, every now and again, that we come to a place where we've been before and we do the, "WHAT THE HELL??? I've already DONE this!!" It's not the same, not really, because we have already learned from the past, but it looks all too familiar. It's the spiral.... we're in the same place, just a lil higher up.

I've come partially out of my seasonal funk. I payed my bills and emailed a few friends back, long over due. That's how I know.

This staircase is looking up from the bottom of the Highlands Light on Cape Cod.


At 7:02 AM, Blogger Ali said...

This is a good shot. You seem to have used the flash which has made you lose details at the bottom of the stairs, but it was probably too dark to take a shot handheld without flash.

At 12:47 PM, Blogger Carae said...

I didn't try a fill flash, which I probably should have. It was VERY dark- and this is looking up from the bottom. Thanks for stopping and commenting!

At 12:52 AM, Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Looking up at that staircase makes me dizzy.
All I can say about your unhappy friend is that when things are rotten in life, it is up to us to find a way to change them. I don't know his situation, but he should be talking with his wife about his unhappiness rather than you. I believe in honesty and in stating what it is that you need, then fighting tooth and nail to get what you need. I wish him better days ahead.

At 11:42 AM, Blogger Carae said...

Jamie- I think my therapist aura oozes over the internet connection and people tell me EVERYTHING... and I did tell him he needs to be working on this with his wife. He insists that she won't listen and he's already tried that. I wish him happiness... but he kinda likes being a martyr. I say, life is too short not to work toward happiness.

At 12:02 AM, Anonymous Tony said...

and destined to live the next 50 years with a woman who doesn't make him entirely happy

My wife and I just renewed our marriage vows after 20 years of marriage, and nowhere in the vows did I promise to make my wife happy.

I promised to love, honor and cherish her, forsaking all others, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer so long as we both shall live.

If I do that, I imagine it would contribute to my wife being happy, but it's not a guarantee. There are a lot of factors included that I have absolutely no control of.

About 10 years ago, my wife sat me down at the kitchen table, looked me in the eyes and said: "I'm unhappy, I'd like to go on a Marriage Encounter weekend". I said: "Sure. When do you want to go?" We made plans for about two weeks later.

It was life changing for us. It would probably be life changing for your friend and his wife too. The registration fee is $50 (gift certificates can be purchased) and after the weekend, you're prompted to donate what you believe the weekend was worth.

My wife and I are ecstatically happy, we love God and one another immensely, and we're planning another marriage encounter weekend in November.

If your friend would like to contact me, feel free to give him my e-mail address . It's best to tackle this stuff before your marriage is on life-support and the only thing that might save it is Retrouvaille.

Have him mention your weblog and handle if he mails me.

At 10:41 PM, Blogger crallspace said...

That staircase has found its way into various nightmares I've had in life.

That, and looking up at large ceilings scares me, but only in dreams. I love heights in real life....


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